someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
