So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
