My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
