When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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