I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
