No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
