I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
