so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
