Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
whose ass print is on the piano?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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