32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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