Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
