Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize