She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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