Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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