No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize