I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
BRING THE BAGELS
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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