he wants to bone in the snuggie
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
