party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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