All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
