I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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