In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
