If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
