"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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