Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
