I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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