Welp...herpes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
