i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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