i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So vagazzling was a success
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
