Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
