Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
