I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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