"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
