wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
