Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
