why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
