new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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