TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
