It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
