I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
