he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
