In America we eat man semen.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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