Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
