I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
