I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
are you so shy because you have an std?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I party with great urgency now.
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