One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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