How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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