that's an acceptable place to lick
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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