So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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