The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
