I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
