Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
