Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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