I bet he comes in French.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
