Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
