I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
